By Stephanie Petrellese

Betty Parente The Parente family of Garden City has been laid to rest.

Most people who attended Tuesday's funeral have gone back to work or school. Television news vans have left the Village; reporters have moved on to cover their next story.

However, before life fully resumes and the memory of this tragedy begins to fade, Betty Parente's best friend Marianne E. Quinn, through words and photos, wants to share her memories in the hope that Betty and her daughters Stephanie and Catherine will be remembered for how they lived, and not how they died.

Among Betty's many friends were a handful of those she considered to be close; Marianne was honored to be one of them. "You are a dream come true as a friend, you bring out the best in me," Betty wrote in an e-mail to Marianne last July. "I cherish our friendship and I thank God for bringing you into my life. As the kids say, you ROCK. Love you to pieces... from your friend who is wild about you... Betty."

Hours after attending the funeral and burial, Marianne sadly shook her head as she sifted through a box containing copies of e-mails and cards. Betty always sent thoughtful cards for holidays and "just because." All included a personal note, and her signature closing, "love you to pieces."

Betty and Stephanie in June, 2005 at Catherine's Communion party. The two women first met in 1999 when Catherine was two years old. Marianne was an assistant teacher at the Garden City Nursery School, and Catherine was attending a play group. The following year Marianne would become her nursery school teacher, and Betty and Marianne would often find time to chat.

It wouldn't be until late 2002, when the Garden City Welcoming Club was forming 12-member groups to play the dice game Bunko, when their friendship would truly blossom. The "Bunko girlfriends" take turns hosting the game at their home once a month. Besides Betty and Marianne, the group includes Laura Ahrem, Lisa Coors, Ellen Enderle, Mindy Fras, Marlaina Ibrahim, Barbara Mangi, Lucille Messina, Darlene Sotomayer, Janet Sheridan and Lee Talbot. Alternates are Joan Hulse and Valerie Matozzo.

Betty and Catherine on March 22 at the Tri-Town Auxiliary chapter of United Cerebral Palsy Association's fifth annual "Sugar, Spice & Everything Nice" fundraiser. Marianne recalls with a smile that over the years the game became less of a focus as the women preferred talking, eating and drinking cosmopolitans. The Bunko ladies would plan trips at other times during the month to go to Broadway shows.

They would also occasionally establish a theme for each month's Bunko meeting. For example, one month they all dressed in their pajamas for a slumber party. At Halloween, they came dressed in witch costumes. Other themes included a cruise, luau, circus and Cinco de Mayo fiesta.

Over the years, besides sharing laughter and good times, this tightly-knit group of women also turned to each other for comfort and support during life's trials. When Betty was diagnosed with breast cancer in June of 2003, they rallied around her as she battled the disease. "She never skipped a beat," Marianne said. "You would never know there was anything wrong." Another Bunko group member would also battle and survive the disease.

Betty (center) with two friends at a Tri-Town Auxiliary Chapter of United Cerebral Palsy fashion show in October, 2005. In 2005, Betty befriended MaryAnn Romano, one of Marianne's friends who was battling breast cancer, and who would be diagnosed with ovarian cancer two years later. She became a source of strength for her new friend during both illnesses. After their breast cancer went into remission, MaryAnn and Betty and their daughters, along with Marianne, would participate in the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer walk held every October at Jones Beach.

Betty's Bunko friends met privately on Friday to grieve and share their memories, and wished to make the following public comments about her life: "Betty never waited until tomorrow to let you know she loved you. Her enthusiasm and bright outlook made everyone she knew feel special and very loved. She would greet me, and everyone else, like I was all she needed to make her day complete. She made you feel like you were always in her thoughts, always in her heart." The women plan to resume their Bunko game this month.

Catherine, Betty and Stephanie after finishing the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer walk at Jones Beach on Oct. 19, 2008. They did the walk every year after Betty's breast cancer went into remission. Besides Bunko, Betty was involved in an array of other activities. She volunteered on the board of the Tri-Town Auxiliary of United Cerebral Palsy, and for the Girl Scouts of Nassau County, American Cancer Society and PTA. Betty also recently became a Eucharistic minister at St. Joseph's Church.

Her devotion to her daughters was well-known. "She loved her girls to the very core of her being," wrote one of Betty's Bunko friends. "She treasured them and they adored her. Through her deep faith and spirituality, Betty gave them roots to make them strong. Through her love, she gave them wings to soar."

She was a class mom, and Marianne joked it would often take her two hours to deliver cupcakes to her daughter's classroom as she stopped and chatted with everyone she saw as she made her way down the school hallway. She attended every game the girls played and always went on the field to thank the coach when it was over.

Betty and some of her Bunko friends liked to go to the city to see plays. This photo was taken outside Ellen's Diner in New York City on Oct. 22 after they saw "Jersey Boys." From left: Betty Parente, Marianne Quinn, Ellen Enderle and Marlaina Ibrahim. "Betty was a caring, generous, fun-loving and warm human being who was a joy to have in my life," Marianne says. "We had a lot of laughs. There are a lot of happy memories."

A memorial fund has been established by Betty's cousins. Contributions can be sent to: The Stephanie & Catherine Memorial Fund, P.O. Box 1901, Massapequa, NY 11758.

Success

Marianne Quinn has compared "Success," one of her favorite poems by Ralph Waldo Emerson, to Betty's life: "Betty laughed often and much, Betty won the respect of many intelligent people, Betty always found the best in others, Betty left the world a better place, and many lives breathed easier because Betty lived."

Catherine and Stephanie at St. Anne's Church after Catherine's First Communion ceremony in May, 2005. Success

To laugh often and much;

To win the respect of intelligent people

and the affection of children:

To earn the appreciation of honest critics and

endure the betrayal of false friends:

To appreciate beauty:

To find the best in others;

To leave the world a bit better, whether by

a healthy child, a garden patch,

or a redeemed social condition;

To know even one life has breathed

easier because you have lived;

This is to have succeeded.

Marianne Quinn posed with Catherine on her first day of nursery school in Sept., 2001. Marianne was the assistant teacher. Stephanie at her sister's First Communion party in June, 2005The Bunko group at Betty's house. From left, standing: Lucille Messina, Janet Sheridan, Joan Hulse, Darlene Sotomayer, Mindy Fras, Valerie Matozzo and Laura Ahrem. Sitting, from left: Lee Talbot, Betty Parente, Ellen Enderle and Malliga Dellaney. Catherine enjoyed a Build-a-Bear table at her First Communion party in June, 2005.