A monthly column by the Executive Board of the Garden City Community Council on Substance Abuse and Violence Prevention.

In March of 2004, the Garden City Community Council on Substance Abuse and Violence Prevention hosted Mr. David Wilmes whose presentation, "Parent Power II: Mobilizing Parents to Keep our Kids and Communities Safe" was well received by parents.

Mr. Wilmes is a substance abuse prevention expert who has authored numerous books and articles including the best selling book, Parenting for Prevention. The presentation addressed several important steps for parents to take when supervising children and their friends when at home as well as the steps to take when children are not under immediate supervision.

In anticipation of all the wonderful celebrations that take place during the months of May and June, we asked Mr. Wilmes to share these suggestions* once more so that all of your celebrations remain safe and happy occasions.

If you plan on Hosting a Party...

Before the Party

* Set Ground Rules with Youth

-Mandatory Adult Supervision

-No drugs, alcohol, smoking

-No leaving and returning

-No gate crashers

-Lights on

-Off limit areas

* Have a Plan

-Set start and end time

-Review plans and guest list (15 max per adult)

-Plan menu & activity options (snacks, beverages, games...)

-Check with local curfew ordinances (allow time to get home)

-Lock all gun and liquor cabinets and secure prescription medications

* Explain Your Responsibilities & Liabilities

-Parents are legally responsible for what happens under their supervision

-Explain that if teens arrive intoxicated or attempt to use alcohol or other drugs their parents will be notified.

Party Guidelines: During the Party

* Maintain Adult Presence

-Maintain supplies of snacks

-Be alert to coming and going

-Be alert to signs of alcohol, drug use or other suspicious activity

-Be prepared to confront inappropriate behavior

* Work with Other Parents

-Invite other parents to help out

-Contact parents of teens who:

*Arrive intoxicated

*Bring alcohol or other drugs

*Are out of control or exhibiting dangerous behavior

* Do not allow anyone who is intoxicated or under the influence to drive.

* Never rent hotel rooms for teens...you can be held liable for damages to building and the combination of privacy and possible alcohol/drug use is dangerous.

Spontaneous Parties

* Discuss risk of spontaneous parties

-Behavior and events frequently escalate when adults aren't present

-If police are called, even innocent bystanders can be guilty by association

* When parents will be gone

-Let neighbors know where you'll be

-Ask a responsible adult to supervise while you're away

-Let parents of teen's friends know what's permitted in your absence

* Discuss "escape" plans with teens

-Parents are a handy excuse "My parents will kill me"...or "My parents will call your parents"

-Instruct teen to leave cell phone, pagers on and check in at unspecified intervals

-Always be willing to call 911 and/or trigger alarm to signal police if necessary

-Discuss difference between problems, crisis, and emergencies and how to respond

When Your Teen Is Going To A Party

* Call the parents ahead of time

-Insure they will be home and present

-Be certain alcohol/drugs will not be allowed

-Offer to help

* Plan transportation

-Offer to drive

-Know who is driving (both ways)

-Remind dangers of riding with someone who's been drinking

-Give a phone number to call if they need a ride home...or aren't comfortable

* Tell them it's OK to use you as an excuse

* Agree on time expected home

* Spontaneous "sleep over" arrangements should be confirmed with host-parents

Questions You Have A Right To Ask

* Where will you be?

* How can I reach you?

* Who is the adult in charge? (name and number)

* Who will you be with?

* What will you be doing...what will others be doing?

* When will you be home?

*Re-printed with permission from Mr. Wilmes